| 15 different drink recipes in honor of the 15 different types of women! |
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| The signature drink of the Princess Go Barbie Go * (A lot of work for very little pay-off) 1 oz rum 1 oz vodka fresh diced strawberries 5 oz fresh squeezed orange juice one sugar cube ice Blend all ingredients in a blender; serve in a martini glass |
| The signature drink of the Queen Mother Bi-polar dolor* (in just a couple of minutes, it’s the boss of you) ½ oz pineapple rum ½ oz coconut rum ½ oz spiced rum ½ oz vanilla vodka ice Blend all of the ingredients together and pour into a highball * created by the authors of Spouse Illustrated |
| The signature drink of the Bling-Banger™ Mimosa (simultaneously cheap and costly) One part expensive champagne One part generic orange juice Pour orange juice in a champagne flute. Pour expensive champagne over it, Pretend it doesn’t taste like orange juice anymore. |
| The signature drink of the Sex-Goddess Chocolate cake martini (yummy from beginning to end) 1 oz Vodka 1/2 oz Godiva liqueur 1/2 oz Vanilla schnapps ½ oz frangelica Shake all ingredients and pour down your lovers throat. |
| The signature drink of the Waif Long Island Ice Tea (Looks helpless and refreshing, but packs a punch). 1/2 oz Vodka 1/2 oz Tequila 1/2 oz Light rum 1/2 oz Gin 1 oz cola Lemon Mix all ingredients; serve in a highball with a straw. |
| The signature drink of the Cheerleader Champagne (sweet, bubbly, and always good for a celebration) Serve cold in a champagne flute – anytime. |
| The signature drink of the Castrator White Russian (Charming and sweet, but will knock you out cold) 2 oz Vodka 1 oz Coffee liqueur Light cream Mix ingredients in a lowball. |
| The signature drink of the Psycho-Bitch The BPD* Hummingbird (Schizophrenically pretending to be a little of everything) The cocktail posing as an ice-cream: ½ Banana ¼ cup sliced strawberries ½ oz coconut cream ½ oz creme de banana ½ oz rum ½ oz Tia Maria Ice Blend all ingredients and pour in a margarita glass. After you are done drinking it, throw the glass at someone you suddenly hate. |
| The signature drink of the Playmate Beer (Good anywhere, anytime) Serve cold. Glass optional |
| The signature drink of the Confidant Courvoisier® (warm and sophisticated) This is a simply beautiful cognac. Serve at room temperature or heated in a brandy snifter. Serve in a brandy or balloon glass. |
| The signature drink of the Spermerator™ Blue for You Martini. * One theme. One goal. ½ oz Vodka ½ oz Limon vodka ½ Lime vodka 1 ground-up Viagra pill (not recommended by Pfizer) Combine all ingredients in a shaker. Shake until frothy. Pour into chilled martini glass. * created by the authors of Spouse illustrated |
| The signature drink of the Free Spirit The Cuban Firefighter * (strong and daring) 1 oz tequila ½ oz pepper vodka 1 oz Cointreau ½ oz cranberry juice guava syrup splash of Tabasco Shake ingredients together and pour in a chilled highball. * created by the authors of Spouse illustrated |
| The signature drink of the Trapper-Keeper Tequila crazy* (Sure to get you locked-up) 2 oz Tequila 2 oz Red Bull Pour ingredients into a highball and stir * Created by the authors of Spouse Illustrated |
| The signature drink of the Span-a-Man™ Sangria (Looks good; tastes okay, but it’s just a bunch of left over shit) All of the left over wine you can find. All of the left over fruit you can find. Combine in a pitcher; Refrigerate, preferably overnight |
| The signature drink of the Professional Shiraz (always smooth, always dependable) A universally well-liked red wine. Our favorite is Earthquake. Oxygenate after cooling, and serve in a red wine glass. |